It has been a rainy week - had a false alarm last wk on a possible buyer for my house. This person in trying to get a govt loan had them inspect and when looking at their inspection results I am very bummed about the potential of even selling my home. I know it needs work but this is the home that we shared our live with and it is way more than these strangers have labeled as not worthy. I am not sure what to do at this point. I so miss Chuck to talk things over. I have no one with whom I can confide in and know they will help me to honestly make a decision. The decision is whether I sell it possibly at breaking even or should I try to rent? All I know is that I want to start taking control and living and not feeling like such a loser living with my daughter. It is strange how just this feeling of being worthless and having my home considered a shack has come about by putting it up for sale!
Sometimes I wonder if I put too much on The Lord to take control of my life. I am abit angry as I have so prayed for so long for help on this and maybe this is my answer. Maybe there is no buyer, maybe I am to quit my job and move home and work at McDonalds, or maybe I will become more ill here real soon and not have any longer to enjoy good health and working. All these things go through my head. There is no way anyone can know what all I have inside my head. As much as I am told to live it to the fullest there is always that obstacle or two I seem to run into and either I don't know how to handle it or I am just too naive to figure it all out!
I find myself becoming abit bitter over it all and this is not what I want at all..............
